We have a bit of a comical exercise program for all those that are planning to ski somewhere other than Winter Park Resort. While skiing can be a trying endeavor for all it is much more convenient and easier on the wallet here at Winter Park Resort.
SO if you plan on hitting the hills this year make sure you come to Winter Park, Colorado to avoid the exercise regimen below:
1. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for a half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
2. Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
3. Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
4. If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses.
5. Throw a hundred dollar bill away-now.
6. Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car and sporadically drop things.
7. Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
8. Buy a new pair of gloves and immediately throw one away.
9. Secure one of your ankles to a bed post and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
10. Go to McDonald’s and insist on paying $13.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
11. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
12. Drive slowly for five hours – anywhere – as long as it’s in a snowstorm and you’re following an 18 wheeler.
13. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip into your clothes.
14. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
15. Slam your thumb in a car door. Don’t go see a doctor.
16. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until it’s time for the real thing.
The real thing would be November 16th, 2011 at Winter Park Resort this year. So book your lodging now with Winter Park Lodging Company and avoid the painful exercises above.
Sarah September 15th, 2011